Why do you tolerate that?

As you read this blog, I’d like you to think back over just the last day or last few hours and ask yourself, what have I been tolerating? What have I been putting up with that is really starting to annoy me? As humans, we tolerate a lot. We put up with others negativity, bad behaviour, rudeness, lying, cheating. We accept our own needs going unmet. We stay in unhappy relationships and jobs that sap our energy. We tolerate being overweight, unfit, even unwell.

The question is why do we tolerate these things that drag us down, that stop us living a fulfilling life, that stop us achieving our goals and being happy?

Well, there are some good reasons for tolerating things:

• to avoid having to deal with something unpleasant
• to avoid having to take any action – e.g. exercising
• there is some payoff for the toleration – e.g. getting sympathy from others
• it’s just too hard / expensive to change

So you might not be ready or able to do anything about your tolerations it right now but the problem with tolerations is that they build up and drag us down over time. They sap us of energy and can overwhelm us if we’re not careful.

There are some big benefits to eliminating tolerations from you life:

• you’ll instantly feel better because we often don’t notice the impact of the toleration until it stops
• you’ll feel empowered
• others will respect you for taking a stand
• you may build better relationships because you are no longer resentful
• you will feel proud of yourself and have a sense of self-respect
• you might achieve more or reach your goals
• you will be happier

But beware, there may also be some negative consequences:

• you may lose some friends because they don’t like to be challenged
• you may need to change your own behaviours
• some people might rebel and even get quite nasty with you
• it may cost you some money

To discover what you are tolerating, download this Tolerations Checklist

Just being clear about what you are tolerating will help you decide what you can put up with and which things you need to start to work on.

A final word…eliminating tolerations from your life doesn’t give you permission to be a jerk! You should deal with the tolerations sensitively and calmly – you don’t need to rant and rave.

And remember…Small ills are the fountains of most of our groans. Men trip not on mountains, they stumble on stones. – Chinese Proverb