How to get an impressive life…

…not just an impressive lifestyle.

One of my favourite shows is “The Secret Millionaire“. It’s about millionaires – with pretty impressive lifestyles, going undercover to understand the issues facing those less fortunate than themselves….and then making a difference to their lives. The reason I love it is for the obvious feel good factor of seeing people in difficult circumstances being treated so compassionately but equally, I love it because the millionaires, without exception, seem to be genuinely touched by the experience.

Which brings me to today’s blog. Continuing the theme of Irresistible Attraction, in this blog we look at the importance of getting an impressive life, not just an impressive lifestyle – although the two are not mutually exclusive! You can have both if you want.

So what’s the difference? Well, the first question to think about is:

“Am I working for a lifestyle that I either desire or need to maintain or am I living the life I want.”

How much of your life is consumed by your lifestyle?

To demonstrate this point, do you (or do you know of people who) feel trapped in a job you don’t really like, have to earn a certain (high) income to pay the mortgage, the credit cards, the holidays, the private school fees etc., yet feel totally exhausted and often p*$ed off with the world because you’re fed up with it all?

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting that you give up all of these things, give away all of your money and start travelling cattle class. But if all of the trappings of your impressive lifestyle are just costing you too much, then perhaps it’s worth considering downsizing or scaling back. Most people won’t do this until they’re faced with a crisis – job loss, major illness, divorce. It’s just too scary and for a lot of people, they’ve never really thought about how they’d fill the vacuum left behind once they remove themselves from the rate race.

Perhaps a gentler approach might involve:

1. List 5 material possessions that you have that you’ve outgrown, outlived or just don’t need, then give them all away.

2. Work out how much of your budget you spend on “lifestyle” items – e.g. entertainment, clothes, beauty, then for the next month, spend 20% less on these items but make it your goal to have the most fun month that you’ve had in a long while.

3. Write down all of the people that are important in your life and how much time you’ve spent with them in the last month. Then write down those that you spend time with that are just contributing to your impressive lifestyle and how long you’ve spend with them in the last month. Now make it a plan to spend more time next month with the people on the first list.

Most of this is about reversing the impressive lifestyle but how do you get an impressive life? That’s the million dollar question.

Here’s some ideas to get you started:

1. Identify people you think have an impressive life – or even an intriguing lifestyle. Arrange to meet them to talk about what they do and how they got there.

2. Spend some time over the holidays to think about what you really want to do with the rest of your life. Create a visual storyboard using photographs and magazine clippings.

3. Consider what would happen if you just STOPPED. What would you lose that really matters to you? How would you fill your time? What’s the worst thing that could happen? Where will you be if you don’t stop?

4. Use this Life Assessment Tool to review where you are and where you’d like to be. Consider working with a coach to get some clarity and direction.

Life’s just too short to waste it doing things we don’t enjoy.

Tell me all about your impressive life – or lifestyle!

All I Want for Christmas is….

‘Tis the season…..almost.

If you’re looking for inspiration for a gift for someone special in your life, this short clip will give you some ideas. If you want the usual run of the mill gifts, then don’t bother watching. These gifts are exclusive and only discerning buyers will be interested.

For more great gifts, please visit the website at www.transforme.com.au

Is that attire appropriate for work?

During my years in Human Resources and more recently as an Executive Coach, I’ve been asked that question many times – not about my own work attire thankfully!!

It can be a really tricky situation for managers to deal with in a way that is sensitive and appropriate.

Along with a number of other coaches, we’ve created an ebook called “Coach Talk for Managers: Easy Scripts for Difficult Moments”. The issue of inappropriate work attire is one the 30 topics we provide practical, simple to use scripts for managers.

Here’s an extract:

Dealing with workplace attire can be a sensitive issue, especially in workplaces where casual dress is the norm. It is important to make sure that everyone is dealt with equally and that your own personal style preferences are not biasing your views.

Case study: Jenny has observed that one of her staff members (Sienna) is dressing inappropriately for work. Although the organisation has a casual dress policy, Sienna’s dress is getting her attention for all of the wrong reasons.

Coach: Sienna, thanks for coming to see me. I want to talk to you about a slightly personal issue; your attire. Is it OK with you if we chat about that?

Coach: Style is a matter of personal taste and I’m not commenting on your style but rather the appropriateness of your attire in the workplace. (Acknowledge that it is a workplace issue.)

Coach: Are you aware of our dress policy? Thinking about the sort of thing you wear to work, is there anything that might be considered out of line with our policy? (Good idea to have a hard copy or be able to reference it. Try to have staff identify for themselves what might be inappropriate.)

Coach: Sienna the way we dress affects how other see us and the impressions they form of us. In fact studies show that 55% of impressions are based on visuals i.e.: how we look and act. For example, what impression do you think colleagues may form of someone who wears X? (State an item / outfit that she has worn that is inappropriate. If a staff member can see that others are forming an opinion that may not be best for career or promotion then they may be more open to change.)

Coach: Sienna, what impression would you like others to form of you? (Allow time to answer.) What sort of things might you wear to work that would help them to form that impression? (Test to see if she understands the policy and how she should dress.)

Coach: Sienna, do you agree that it’s important …………

If you’d like to read the rest of this script along with the other 29, then please click on image below to purchase this unique ebook.

Now, what am I going to wear tomorrow?